Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Dear Anonymous Elderly Woman at the Grocery Store, I'm going to assume your comments are meant to be helpful, but I really don't need to be badgered about why my child is screaming. This isn't my first time at the rodeo, and it's entirely possible I have more experience raising children than you do. She's not cold. She's not hungry. She's three months old. It's likely she just farted to the right instead of the left this morning. Also on the list of reasons she's screaming loudly enough to be heard in the next county over? She knows I'll pick her up and hold her. Notice how skillfully I cradle her while steering the loaded cart with one hand? Or how I manage to avoid flinching or cursing when she spits up all over my shoulder, hitting my back and rear end and the floor of the meat aisle in the process? A newb couldn't do that. I know I couldn't nine years ago. But I'm a freakin' pro now. So we're good. And thank you, she is cute.